Chilly morning thoughts on an overdue blog

This is long overdue. I know. Every morning as I get up, bundle head to toe in three layers of clothes, a scarf, and gloves to brave the Chilean winter, I think to myself, “Today I am going to post something on my blog.” This thought always continues as I leave my house at 6:30am and walk 20 minutes to meet a friend who drives me to work each day. During this time I think about my life here, what I have been up to, and if anyone actually wants to know that I am truly happy. Funny thing is, many times I have actually come up with some pretty creative things and or insights that are prefect for such a long overdue blog…too bad I never had the sense to write them down. For now, I am just drawing a blank

After my last post, a few people emailed me and asked “Are you okay? You sound depressed.” I was surprised to receive such responses because in fact, the opposite couldn’t be more true. I am happier than ever, happy with life, where I am at in it, and what lies ahead. So no, not depressed. I guess my thought process behind the last blog was that of giving an update of my life, but at the same time saying that in grand scheme of things, what I am doing here is not really what people should be focusing on. I was writing, and am still writing today, during a time that so many important things are going on in the world. The Earth is telling us something: earthquakes in China, volcanoes in Chile, terrible storms in the Midwest, cancer cases on the rise in both suffering adults and children, some of whom we care about - all this just to name a few. Genocide. Governmental oppression. A world food crisis. Strikes and protests around the world due to the increasing price and dependence of oil. Again, this is just naming a few and is really the tip of a large iceberg that only a portion we are aware of. Regardless, within a large majority of these events, people have died or have lost a loved one. People have lost any possession that they had in their life, forced out on the street with absolutely nothing and no one to help. And those are only the tangible effects. The psychological effects will certainly remained unseen. Yet, increasingly, the world constantly turns a blind eye to such events unless it affects them directly. So, rant aside, if someone is taking time to read my blog, it is my hope that they will take the time to at least read or pray for others who are in positions far worse off than they will ever be in their life.

Okay, sorry. I can guarantee you that the last comment/random rant was certainly not one of the creative insights I came up with during my morning walks. :-)

I guess in response to the above posting, I should apologize and say yes, you visit my blog to find out what is going on with me, not what is going on with the rest of the world or hear about how the world is going to hell. So, I will not try to disappoint.

Life is busy. I have said it before and it continues. The funny thing is, I am doing more work than the last time I said that. I have two full time jobs right now, working at the high school each day. I teach Sophomore, Junior, and Senior English while also coordinating the exchange program, debate team, and 1st grade English workshop. My initial reaction to teaching English has changed – as I have said before, I did not come down here to teach English. That is the job of others who are here through a different program. But, the need is there, and I was able to fulfill this need through the gifts that I have. In the end, that is all that matters. And so, my two full time jobs at the school continue.

On Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights I am continuing with my homework helper program at the local perish. The kids are so great and a lot of fun. Their grades have improved and that is always nice to see. The only thing now is that they come each night, sometime even if they do not have homework, which leaves me feeling at times if I am an educational babysitter. But, the kids say they like coming, so I guess anything that is fun and encourages kids to continue to study and learn after school hours is always a good thing.

A recent addition to my schedule has forced me to not visit as many people as I usually do during the week. About a month ago, I was searching online for a GRE preparation course (the SAT-like exam you take to go to graduate school). I have decide to apply for graduate school for the Fall of 2009 to study non-profit management and will be taking this test here in Santiago sometime in September or October, in order to send in my graduate school applications by December. The search for the preparation course led me to find the only offered in Chile, coordinated by the highly respected North American Institute. Unfortunately, the website did not include the date of the next session, saying to email inquiries. I emailed accordingly, and the next day I received a phone call from the director of the institute, telling me that the classes were twice a week, for three hours, AND the only session of the year was starting that evening, that there was one more space open in the class which I could have if I wanted. I simply couldn’t believe it, nor could I imagine adding one thing to my already crazy schedule. But, I knew that I would not be able to take this test without the course, even if I were to study on my own. And so, I signed up for the class and am doing math and English exercises for GRE preparation each Tuesday and Thursday from 6:30-10:00pm. I have two more weeks of the class left (lasts for a month and a half) and now I know Dios quiere (God wills it.) Something certainly played a role in me looking and finding that course the day before the session started, and I am so glad I did.

And so, that is me. Visiting the orphanage kids each Saturday is still the highlight of my week and Sunday is my day to relax, get some work done for school, and visit a family. I am happy. I cannot say it enough. Life is good. Life is manageable. I am enjoying this experience and have some of the best friends in the world here with me in Chile to enjoy it with. As I said earlier, I love my place in the world and where I am in it. I am comfortable with where I am heading. I have been so blessed to have the experiences I have had and continue to have, and at the same time, able to take time out to focus on myself, to find out what I truly want out of this life. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to say yes, I know what my calling and my vocation is, that a life of a international non-profit consultant is where my heart lies and where I will best be able to use the gifts God has given me. It is only through this experience that I would have reached this conclusion, and to be honest, it scares me to think of the life I would have led if I did not come here.

Yet, despite everything that I going on, each morning during my chilly walks I always seem to end with thoughts about family and friends. While I am happy here, I know that my life is not as complete as it could be with them. I very much am excited about when I will return home for Christmas and be able to share that time with them. This experience has taught me that with anything, there are sacrifices that must be made, and I am so grateful for those that continue to support and love me despite the fact I have sacrificed my interactions and relationships with them, only making up for it with infrequent phone calls and emails. They too, are making a sacrifice in support of my life here, and for that I will always be appreciative.

These people will remain in my thoughts, as well as all the others who make even greater sacrifices each day and live with that suffering, those who are known and unknown.

Until the next blog, whenever that is :-).

~ M