An update on life
Many of you have contacted me via email or phone, asking if I have dissappeared off of the face of the planet. Afterall, no phone calls, no emails, no letters, no messages on facebook, and certainly no blog posts for almost a whole month. So what is up?
I thought about this decision for a while. This work was not what I wanted to do and certainly not what I came to Chile to do. I had other obligations and other jobs as a volunteer Associate; choosing to take this position would mean to not fulfill these duties. But, I had become close to the students and to the other teachers in the department. I also knew what a tough position the deparment was in - it was also trying to find 5 other permanent teachers for those whose contracts were ending before the winter vacation...so I agreed.
The week was fairly easy. The students completed their computer lab exercises and I was glad to finally get back to my life again. On Monday the next day we received another medical excuse - the teacher I was replacing would not come back until after the upcoming Winter vacations (think our three weeks of Winter vacations for Christmas and New Years but in the middle of July, Winter here). Again, the department asked me to replace the teacher, until they find someone else who can. This time, I declined.
My view is that this position is a full-time position and the students need someone who is qualified for the role (I have a very limited education background - and speaking the language is not a qualification for a good teacher). As I said earlier, I feel that this is something that I cannot do while maintaining my other responsibilities as an Associate. I am missing time with both my home community (leaving early, coming home late, and spending free time grading papers) and my Chilean community. I am also not able to do the other jobs that I agreed to volunteer for while I am here. All in all, I am working 9-10 hours 5 days a week, way more than the 20-30 that is expected of me, and these hours are doing a job that I did not come down to Chile to do.
Later that day, the department asked me to reconsider my decision, stating that it was an emergency and they would not ask an Associate to take this position if it was not. They told me this was not a permanent position and I would only be helping out until they find a replacement, hopefully before vacations. In the end, I agreed to take the position, with the promise that the department would help me make the job as smooth as possible.
I did the job last week and so far, the department has kept their promise, helping me out as much as I can. I am teaching 10th graders about the use of the gerrand, 11th graders about discourse markers and question tags, and 12th graders are working on a project about the Cold War. With exception of a few pain in the ass 10th graders, I enjoy the kids and as far as I can tell, they enjoy me. I do not, however, enjoy my job. Each day makes me question what I am doing. They say that time spent teaching is never lost - but is that true?? I feel like I should be somewhere else, doing something else. It pains me to know that this school would continue on without me, so why do I continue to do this work? Why can't I just say NO, leave the school, and let it struggle on its own? I feel like it would be reaching too much to say that God wants me here, wants me to be a presence in these kids lives. Regardless, I believe these questions will continue for the next three weeks...my hunch is that the department will not find a replacement before vacations.
And so, that is where I am now in my life. I wake up each morning at 5:15am, get in the shower, eat a bit of breakfast, and I am out the door by 6:15am. I walk 10 minutes to the subway and after a 20 minute subway trip, I have an hour long trip by city bus, arriving around 7:30am. I end my day around 4:30pm and if I am lucky, catch the bus before rush hour to make it home around 7:00pm. I eat a bit of dinner, visit with Natalie and Ryan for many an hour, and am usually so exhausted that I go to bed.
If this experience has taught me anything, it has given a glimpse into the world of people who, regardless of their ethnicity or social class, have a job that they hate but get up morning after morning to do the daily grind because they have to in order to survive. I ride to work with these people each morning; I hear them complain about their job, their boss, their low wages. Many of them are men, construction workers who start at dawn and end at dusk. Any women I see are usually in maid uniforms, either child care workers, servants, or both. I feel a sense of solidarity with them, but I know that it is only superficial; I do not depend on this job inorder to survive and in two weeks time, I will leave this job for something that I feel called to do.
God has truly blessed me with such an amazing and unique opportunity, to live in a foreign country and listen to my heart and to God, going where the spirit takes me in order to serve others. While I am not sure if I am using this opportunity at the moment, I will certainly never take it for granted when my teacher position ends.
I look forward to the many phone calls, emails, letters, and blogs in my future. I thank you all so very much for caring and worrying about me; I love and miss you so very much, more than you all know. Have a wonderful 4th of July!
Work is the excuse again. Three weeks ago I arrived to work at Saint George's College, the school where I have organized a debate team, revamped and now head the student exchange program, and teach a "Fun Friday" class to 11th graders once a week. As soon as I arrived, I was told that one of the teachers was ill and the school was unable to get a subsitute - would I be able to be the substitute for the day? Always willing to help, I said yes and found myself teaching and continuing English lessons with two classes of high school Seniors, two classes of Juniors, and two classes of Sophomores.
When the day ended, I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was to go straight home and go to bed. Gathering my things, the Director of the English department approached me and asked, "Do you think you come tomorrow and take the classes again? The students will be watching a movie in each one of their classes, so it should be very easy." Reluctantly I agreed.
The second day was a breeze. I was merely a baby sitter who took attendence. At the end of the day, I rejoiced knowing that I would not have to be a full-time teacher again. That feeling lasted about three minutes: we received notice that the teacher was actually admitted to a clinic for depression and was on medical leave for the rest of the week and the following week. The question was posed again: would I be the replacement teacher? All I would have to do is finish the movie with the students and be with them as they complete exercises in the computer lab each day next week.
I thought about this decision for a while. This work was not what I wanted to do and certainly not what I came to Chile to do. I had other obligations and other jobs as a volunteer Associate; choosing to take this position would mean to not fulfill these duties. But, I had become close to the students and to the other teachers in the department. I also knew what a tough position the deparment was in - it was also trying to find 5 other permanent teachers for those whose contracts were ending before the winter vacation...so I agreed.
The week was fairly easy. The students completed their computer lab exercises and I was glad to finally get back to my life again. On Monday the next day we received another medical excuse - the teacher I was replacing would not come back until after the upcoming Winter vacations (think our three weeks of Winter vacations for Christmas and New Years but in the middle of July, Winter here). Again, the department asked me to replace the teacher, until they find someone else who can. This time, I declined.
My view is that this position is a full-time position and the students need someone who is qualified for the role (I have a very limited education background - and speaking the language is not a qualification for a good teacher). As I said earlier, I feel that this is something that I cannot do while maintaining my other responsibilities as an Associate. I am missing time with both my home community (leaving early, coming home late, and spending free time grading papers) and my Chilean community. I am also not able to do the other jobs that I agreed to volunteer for while I am here. All in all, I am working 9-10 hours 5 days a week, way more than the 20-30 that is expected of me, and these hours are doing a job that I did not come down to Chile to do.
Later that day, the department asked me to reconsider my decision, stating that it was an emergency and they would not ask an Associate to take this position if it was not. They told me this was not a permanent position and I would only be helping out until they find a replacement, hopefully before vacations. In the end, I agreed to take the position, with the promise that the department would help me make the job as smooth as possible.
I did the job last week and so far, the department has kept their promise, helping me out as much as I can. I am teaching 10th graders about the use of the gerrand, 11th graders about discourse markers and question tags, and 12th graders are working on a project about the Cold War. With exception of a few pain in the ass 10th graders, I enjoy the kids and as far as I can tell, they enjoy me. I do not, however, enjoy my job. Each day makes me question what I am doing. They say that time spent teaching is never lost - but is that true?? I feel like I should be somewhere else, doing something else. It pains me to know that this school would continue on without me, so why do I continue to do this work? Why can't I just say NO, leave the school, and let it struggle on its own? I feel like it would be reaching too much to say that God wants me here, wants me to be a presence in these kids lives. Regardless, I believe these questions will continue for the next three weeks...my hunch is that the department will not find a replacement before vacations.
And so, that is where I am now in my life. I wake up each morning at 5:15am, get in the shower, eat a bit of breakfast, and I am out the door by 6:15am. I walk 10 minutes to the subway and after a 20 minute subway trip, I have an hour long trip by city bus, arriving around 7:30am. I end my day around 4:30pm and if I am lucky, catch the bus before rush hour to make it home around 7:00pm. I eat a bit of dinner, visit with Natalie and Ryan for many an hour, and am usually so exhausted that I go to bed.
If this experience has taught me anything, it has given a glimpse into the world of people who, regardless of their ethnicity or social class, have a job that they hate but get up morning after morning to do the daily grind because they have to in order to survive. I ride to work with these people each morning; I hear them complain about their job, their boss, their low wages. Many of them are men, construction workers who start at dawn and end at dusk. Any women I see are usually in maid uniforms, either child care workers, servants, or both. I feel a sense of solidarity with them, but I know that it is only superficial; I do not depend on this job inorder to survive and in two weeks time, I will leave this job for something that I feel called to do.
God has truly blessed me with such an amazing and unique opportunity, to live in a foreign country and listen to my heart and to God, going where the spirit takes me in order to serve others. While I am not sure if I am using this opportunity at the moment, I will certainly never take it for granted when my teacher position ends.
I look forward to the many phone calls, emails, letters, and blogs in my future. I thank you all so very much for caring and worrying about me; I love and miss you so very much, more than you all know. Have a wonderful 4th of July!
posted by Michelle Fitzgerald @ 6/26/2007 07:40:00 AM
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